Loretta has just returned from her favorite activity, shopping recklessly for more womens apparel that she doesn't need. Leroy, numbed by years of such abuse, sits there catatonically as Loretta needles him by reminding him she's put him further into debt on the pretext of buying him a tie that he doesn't need.
Leroy takes great delight in explaining to a disbelieving Loretta the differences among the holy trinity of information: news, sports, and weather.
The competition among today's Sunday Lockhorns comics is fierce. In Panel One, we learn that Super Bowl Sunday is Leroy's most revered holiday, but not Loretta's. In Panel Two, Leroy, with a single word, reveals to D. Pullman the source of all his frustrations and hostilities. Center Panel brings us to the Lockhorns' lonely celebration, begun yesterday, of Leroy's birthday in what has to be the most philosophical Lockhorns cartoon yet. In Panel Four, Leroy has gotten lost behind the wheel yet again, and it's a sure bet he will not ask for directions and hilarity will ensue. Loretta is correct; when she drives, Leroy knows he'll end up in the emergency room. Outside of Victoria, Australia, we native Rhode Islanders know of no such establishment named Chick-N-D-Lish, and thus are relieved to know that Little Rhody's state bird will continue to propagate its species, in spite of Loretta's narrative in Panel Five. This doesn't matter to Leroy, who is enjoying all the attention.
The Lockhorns celebrate Leroy's birthday alone. It's a quiet and somber scene as Loretta hands Leroy a gift that technically he bought himself, since she doesn't work. How fitting the gift should remind Leroy of the source of his endless regret. Nonetheless, he has the perfect response.
In a coffee klatsch, Loretta addresses a couple whose male member is a caricature of outstanding late actor Jason Robards. It is difficult to imagine any conversation in which Loretta's comment would arise naturally, unless the topic swung around specifically to obsessed parents who are compelled to preserve their offsprings' bedrooms as shrines of some sort, in which case Loretta seizes the opportunity to get in a one-liner about Leroy's slovenliness.
Leroy's obsession with football has reached the point where he's now in a fantasy football league. This fact alone doesn't bother Loretta, since it keeps Leroy occupied and provides her with another reason to nag him. Fantasy cheerleaders, however, is another story. It's surprising Leroy just doesn't go straight to the fantasy porn.
Leroy has heretofore been accustomed to being addressed as "dude." However, that has all changed, as people are now addressing him as "mister." He sees this as a sign of aging, and confides in an uninterested Loretta his uneasiness in facing his own mortality.
