Even Leroy Lockhorn, the most interesting man in the world, needs to update his repertoire once in a while. Loretta gladly reminds him of this as they're off to yet another Levittown cocktail party. He may have to rely tonight on his old tried-and-true standard, and that is speaking out against the institution of matrimony. As an afterthought, you would think Leroy has thousands of hospital stories, given his medical history.
Loretta has served Leroy his dinner. It is an abomination, as is anything Loretta has ever cooked. This time we have a steak, burnt beyond recognition, of the consistency of shoe leather, and emitting acrid fumes throughout the dining room. This wouldn't be the first time Leroy has recited a requiem in memory of whatever the culinary atrocity on his plate used to be.
Leroy wasn't around today, so Loretta couldn't insult him in front of an audience (comprising the sole bored looking neighbor) as usual. She resorts to insulting him when he's not even there, but it's not the same. Who prints pictures made from cell phones, anyway?
I'm guessing that Leroy has asked Dr. H. Blog M.D. for a second opinion after the doctor informed him he was overweight, hence the doctor's comment. I say guessing because I don't know what actually happened, since the doctor's response does not seem to fit at all as a retort to "I want a second opinion." The confusion and awkwardness is enhanced further by Loretta's giggling at Leroy's misfortune, especially since, as I have pointed out several times lately, their bodies have exactly the same shape.
A woman neighbor visits Loretta. She sits on the couch, transfixed with a stare of boredom, as though she would rather be anywhere else on the planet, as Loretta insults her napping husband with yet another play on words. I wonder why this scene seems so familiar?
Leroy recalls yesterday's episode at Jones Beach when it was revealed he has the body of a frog, so it stands to reason he wouldn't want to look at Loretta's body if he can help it, since their body types are, to all appearances, identical.
Panel One, upper left Love means never having to say, "Love means never having to say, "Love means never having to say, . . . and so forth. This is an infinite loop, reminiscent of the trap one falls in when one relies on cliches too often. Nonetheless, Leroy deserves credit for disguising his wisdom as a proud proclamation of his cheapness.
Panel Two, lower left Loretta receives many women visitors. Invariably, she leads them directly by wherever Leroy happens to be in the house for the express purpose of insulting Leroy in front of an audience. This ritual has been enacted thousands of times, each with its own unique effect. The woman visitors always look the same, though.
Center Panel There you have it. Leroy has the body of a frog. Knowing this, we can assume Loretta does also, since, when clothed, their bodies look exactly alike. You would think an amphibious couple would spend more time at the beach, but this is their first visit all year. I do not understand Loretta's comment; how does one "stay sucking"?
Panel Four, upper right In hot doubles action on the local tennis courts, Leroy tries to motivate his partner, Loretta, the legendary chatterbox of Levittown.
Panel Five, lower right Real-life attorney Ted Sklar peers down at the Lockhorns, out on their Sunday drive, from a billboard. I do not understand Loretta's comment. Surely she means exactly the opposite, that Leroy is extremely unlucky, otherwise he'd have divorced her years ago. Theirs is a marriage held together by the bonds of cheapness. Nobody can accuse Ted Sklar of false advertising.
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