Where Have You Gone, John Maynard Keynes?

It's hard to fathom how the Lockhorns could have been unaware of their financial mess. It's a basic fact that if you spend more than you make, then you'll be in debt. Given Leroy's inadequate paycheck, and Loretta's insanely irresponsible shopping habits, especially over decades of time, how can any news from their financial advisor have been a surprise?

Lest We Forget

The Lockhorns are in the midst of yet another argument, no doubt precipitated by Loretta's incessant nagging. Somehow, the topic of whether or not Leroy forgets his mistakes has arisen. Leroy defends himself marvelously with a timely riposte, simply by reminding Loretta of her tendency to hold grudges over the most trivial of matters.

I Love Thee Freely, As Men Strive For Right

Loretta fails to realize that Leroy will say absolutely anything if it will get her to shut up for at least a minute or two. He finally gets a moment's peace as Loretta decides to bore her apathetic guest with more of her clever insults about him.

To Have And Have Not

Lockhorns Sunday. D. Pullman, the Lockhorns' marriage counselor, really has his hands full in Panel One, which has to get my vote. Only Leroy and Loretta could complicate a corny exercise such as "trust falls" by incorporating the childrens' playground standard of rock, scissors, paper. Leroy ogles a blonde bimbo over in the next alley in Panel Two while out bowling with Loretta. Instead of resorting to violence, Loretta assaults Leroy with an awful pun. In Center Panel, Loretta lays out an ultimatum for Leroy, who has tried to weasel out of buying Loretta a fur coat by pretending to be an animal rights activist. Her threat cannot carry much weight, since it is impossible to tell whatever it is Loretta prepares in the kitchen since it's all inedible anyway. In Panel Four, Leroy is feeling old as he strains mightily to rake leaves in the front yard. In Panel Five, Leroy has a long wait in queue at the DMV, and figures that the wait will chew up the time he would otherwise spend cooling his heels in Dr. H. Blog's waiting room.

Say It Ain't So, Albert Einstein

It's never a good day for Leroy when Loretta drags him along on one of her frequent compulsive shopping binges. At least he usually manages to run across similarly henpecked husbands with whom to commiserate. The $150 figure cited by Leroy seems to indicate that he lost sight of Loretta for approximately 10 seconds.

Move Over, Eddie Shack

You've got to love irascible Leroy. So well known is his foul temper, that when Disney On Ice comes to town, they keep open the penalty box normally used for New York Islanders home games. Sure enough, he earned a five-minute major for fighting when he began hurling insults at the minimum wage schlep skating in the Mickey Mouse costume. You've also got to love Loretta's sense of loyalty and nostalgia, as she refuses to believe the Ice Capades went out of business years ago.

The Golden Mile

We have a reassuringly familiar scene with Leroy sprawled on the couch and with Loretta, as usual, nagging Leroy, this time for his lack of an exercise regimen. Leroy takes the opportunity to register a classic complaint among middle aged men. The only remaining question is how far the Lockhorns' bathroom is from the bedroom.