Mine Eye And Heart Are At A Mortal War

Lockhorns Sunday! It is clear in Panel One that Loretta is mocking Leroy over his perceived illiteracy. It is not clear what Leroy is holding, what seems to be a rectangular object with a square and a circle on it. Leroy is even grumpier than usual when behind the steering wheel of an automobile, a fact Loretta comically laments to her neighbor in Panel Two. In Center Panel, the bathroom scale uses humor to chide Leroy about his weight. Loretta's smirk suggests that she may have had something to do with this. In Panel Four, it is perfectly understandable that Leroy cannot distinguish between Loretta's attempts at making glaze and plastic wrap that Loretta doesn't bother to remove. The best is saved for last in Panel Five, set in another Levittown cocktail soiree. Leroy is only too happy to point out Loretta's incongruities to his neighbor, who, unlike most of Leroy's interlocutors, actually shows a trace of interest.

All Things Come To He Who Weights

We see an unusually elaborate scene in today's comic. We can assume the comatose gentleman in the matching green jacket and toque is Leroy's neighbor, who happens to be passing by while out running his Saturday errands. Leroy, tired from his long wait, leans on a telephone pole. This is all a lot of trouble and effort just for that pun!

I Taste A Liquor Never Brewed

At the latest Levittown cocktail party, Leroy has once again immersed himself in drunken revelry. Loretta shows her lack of appreciation for the spectacle by applying a well worn metaphor to convey the idea to her neighbor that Leroy is a hopeless alcoholic.

Half A League, Half A League, Half A League Onward

Leroy's frustrations with automated telephone menus have assumed legendary proportions over the years. The man has so often exploded in a rage while trying to follow byzantine instructions spoken by computer generated voices, only to slam down the receiver in unmitigated angry fury, that he's actually flummoxed when he gets a real person on the other end of the line.

But Three Rights Do Make A Left

The Lockhorns has long served as a repository for adages and cliches. Today Leroy refers to the oft cited repudiation of the logical fallacy known as tu quoque. It is unclear what Leroy's "wrongs" were, but the open refrigerator door suggests that he merely cheated on his diet again. Given Loretta's belligerent mien, Leroy should replace the milk and opt for bourbon instead.

Prisons Are Built With Stones Of Law, Brothels With Bricks Of Religion

Frequent sessions with D. Pullman, Marriage Counselor, are de rigueur in the Lockhorns' quest to survive their depressing marriage. Pullman deepens their depression by reminding them about his $175 hourly fee.

Where Have You Gone, Marlin Perkins?

Leroy has a patented response to Loretta's imperative that they rent a nature video. It invokes the usual reaction in Loretta, who half-heartedly displays her ire by stating the obvious. Leroy ponders his next move.