Sunday, May 2, 2010

Imperare Sibi Maximum Imperium Est

It's Lockhorns Sunday, and Panel One sees our favorite couple out on the links, where Leroy's anachronistic golfing attire fails to impress fashion maven Loretta.

Panel Two has Leroy scoping out another towering bimbo, this one a well-stacked brunette, at one of Levittown's famous cocktail parties. Loretta has plenty of one-liners stored for such occasions, and she does not hesitate trying one of them out on her neighbor.

An airline luggage joke forms the basis of Center Panel. The sardonic placard Loretta holds in her hand dominates the scene, having grown to four times the size of the envelope it arrived in. Leroy plays the perfect second banana by standing there motionless in a heavy-lidded stupor of despair.

Panel Four raises the question of whether or not the latest hapless dinner guest of the Lockhorns actually mustered the courage to ask, "What is this?" Whatever the case, Leroy's comment cuts deeper into Loretta's psyche than the sharpest steak knife ever could cut into her cooking.

In China, it is said that catastrophe brings opportunity. In Panel Five, the misfortune of running out of gas gives Leroy the opportunity to insult Loretta by implying that there was a time when he once enjoyed the company of women he deemed desirable to be stranded with.