1 Corinthians 7:38

The competition among today's Sunday Lockhorns comics is fierce. In Panel One, we learn that Super Bowl Sunday is Leroy's most revered holiday, but not Loretta's. In Panel Two, Leroy, with a single word, reveals to D. Pullman the source of all his frustrations and hostilities. Center Panel brings us to the Lockhorns' lonely celebration, begun yesterday, of Leroy's birthday in what has to be the most philosophical Lockhorns cartoon yet. In Panel Four, Leroy has gotten lost behind the wheel yet again, and it's a sure bet he will not ask for directions and hilarity will ensue. Loretta is correct; when she drives, Leroy knows he'll end up in the emergency room. Outside of Victoria, Australia, we native Rhode Islanders know of no such establishment named Chick-N-D-Lish, and thus are relieved to know that Little Rhody's state bird will continue to propagate its species, in spite of Loretta's narrative in Panel Five. This doesn't matter to Leroy, who is enjoying all the attention.

Happy Birthday, Leroy

The Lockhorns celebrate Leroy's birthday alone. It's a quiet and somber scene as Loretta hands Leroy a gift that technically he bought himself, since she doesn't work. How fitting the gift should remind Leroy of the source of his endless regret. Nonetheless, he has the perfect response.

You Know Where You Did Despise

In a coffee klatsch, Loretta addresses a couple whose male member is a caricature of outstanding late actor Jason Robards. It is difficult to imagine any conversation in which Loretta's comment would arise naturally, unless the topic swung around specifically to obsessed parents who are compelled to preserve their offsprings' bedrooms as shrines of some sort, in which case Loretta seizes the opportunity to get in a one-liner about Leroy's slovenliness.

Leroy, Leroy, He's Our Man

Leroy's obsession with football has reached the point where he's now in a fantasy football league. This fact alone doesn't bother Loretta, since it keeps Leroy occupied and provides her with another reason to nag him. Fantasy cheerleaders, however, is another story. It's surprising Leroy just doesn't go straight to the fantasy porn.

Ah, Love, Let Us Be True To One Another!

Leroy has heretofore been accustomed to being addressed as "dude." However, that has all changed, as people are now addressing him as "mister." He sees this as a sign of aging, and confides in an uninterested Loretta his uneasiness in facing his own mortality.

If Hating You Is Right Then I Don't Want To Be Wrong

The tables are turned. Today it is Leroy who obstinately clings to a point of view and won't listen to reason, as his haughty arrogance conveys his conviction that he is absolutely right. Such behavior is typical of Loretta, yet she cannot deal with it, a fact she bemoans to her neighbor over coffee.

Steal This Space

In a rare glimpse at Leroy's workplace, we learn that you don't want to get on the bad side of the guy who manages the payroll, at least not if you want to get paid.