Boy, You Gotta Carry That Weight

In spite of his ongoing battles with the bathroom scale, Leroy cannot resist the temptation of a handy box of doughnuts. Loretta, herself immersed in perpetual self-loathing over her body image, takes offense at Leroy's transgression. Either that, or she fears that the appetite-suppressing qualities of the doughnuts will deny her the pleasure of torturing Leroy with her horrible cooking that evening.

Absque Argento Omnia Vana

Loretta can't wait to see the look on Leroy's face when he learns that his credit card limit has been exceeded. It's too bad the clerk and the neighbor do not share in the obvious pleasure Loretta feels whenever she tortures Leroy by running up his debts.

Men Are From Hempstead, Women Are From Mineola

We're all familiar with the stereotype of the wife remembering every damn thing her husband has ever said, but perhaps it's inaccurate. Whatever the case, Loretta's taking no chances, as Leroy explains in his trademark deadpan delivery to his neighbor, who is clearly ill at ease at witnessing further examples of the obsessive spite that dominates the couple's relationship. It's reasonable to assume that Leroy's faults are not a matter of public record, and thus we may conclude Loretta builds her "scrapbook" with hand written notes in which she criticizes her husband, thereby raising the art of nagging beyond pathological levels.

Help! I'm Being Held Prisoner In A Chinese Embassy!

Today we see a new twist on an old gag, popular many years ago, when an unsuspecting patron would open a fortune cookie to read, "Help! I'm being held prisoner in a Chinese fortune cookie factory!" Perhaps The Lockhorns is commenting in a sly way on the new wave of paranoia sweeping America in the midst of these stark economic times. It's surprising to learn that embassies now have the power to arrest and detain citizens of their host country, and even set bail. What happens if Leroy and Loretta jump bail? Will the embassy police send a special unit to Levittown?

The Twenty-first Century Nag

Loretta, having been force fed by the media the notion that spouses must always ask the question "How was your day?", demands that Leroy do the same. Meanwhile, Leroy deeply regrets having opened a twitter account, as it has enabled Loretta to annoy him constantly, even when he's at work. We have the recipe for a pleasant evening of bickering.

The Summoning Of Everyman

Loretta, as insecure a social climber as ever there was, drags Leroy against his will to the ballet. Leroy will return the favor by poking at her ridiculous grandiosity all evening long with the down home earthly sarcasm of the common man.

As we never get to hear Leroy's political rantings and ravings, it's impossible to tell where he stands in the political spectrum, although his nihilistic tendencies would seem to point toward some form of libertarianism. Loretta is quick to seize the opportunity to provide a quip, of which Grin and Bear It would be proud, to her audience of a sole unfortunate visiting neighbor.

We're spared the unsettling spectacle of Loretta's strangely anachronistic mother, but Leroy won't be so lucky, as he invokes Greek mythology to describe aptly his impending fate.

Even the serene pastime of angling cannot provide Leroy respite from Loretta's constant irksome presence. His resigned expression tells all, as Loretta spends the day complaining.

At some sort of social gathering, Loretta's interlocutor steals the show. She is hunched over from bearing the weight of Loretta's incessant prattling, pounding her on all sides. Her eyes are glazed over in a combination of stifling boredom and the uneasy terror of being hopelessly trapped in the turgid flow of Loretta's logorrhea. As is gleaned from Leroy's comment, Loretta presently is pontificating on her favorite topic of monologue, Leroy himself.

Better Late Than Early

Abstraction abounds as we see Levittown's latest soiree taking place in midair. The Lockhorns have arrived late. Leroy apologizes, and promptly blames Loretta, for their tardiness. Leroy and the host clearly are not thrilled to see each other, so it's likely they're late by Leroy's own design. Understandably, Loretta resents being made a scapegoat in what's shaping up to be a tense and awkward evening for all involved.