Never Again

Loretta frequently drags Leroy along on her compulsive shopping binges, sometimes adding insult to injury by having him hold her pocketbook while she spends his meager paycheck into oblivion. Today Leroy has made a stand, and has figured out a clever way to circumvent what is clearly a painful occurrence for him, simply by logging on to the BUY NOW website with his trusted iMac.

Where's Sherwood Schwartz When You Need Him?

Loretta is getting ready to view a minimalist version of ABC's hit show Lost with her unfortunate neighbor when Leroy saunters by on his way to the kitchen to grab a beer. As if right on cue, Loretta immediately lets loose with a stinging insult about her husband.

Balls Cried The Queen

Today's scene has been repeated ad infinitum during the Lockhorns' long tumultuous marriage. Yet, Leroy still doesn't realize that when Loretta says "We need to talk," it is the royal "we," and in particular the Victorian "we," that she means. No doubt, she gets this from her mother, a living relic from the Victorian Age.

O Pioneers!

You can't blame Leroy in Panel One. From his perspective, he simply prefers good news to bad. Considering how much Leroy hates the opera, it had to be he who did the scalping during the "incident" Loretta refers to in Panel Two. Self deluded Loretta considers herself a yoga master in Center Panel, so Leroy decides to have some fun at her expense. His neighbor, unfortunately, is unimpressed. In spite of Leroy splitting an infinitive in Panel Four, it still gets my vote, as Leroy cleverly employs a prop to insult Loretta's dreadful cooking. In Panel Five, Leroy whoops it up with a seven foot bimbo at the latest Levittown cocktail party. Loretta has asked her neighbor to hold her signature plate of two olives, thus enabling Loretta to stir her drink and whip up yet another atrocious pun.

Where Have You Gone, Lon Chaney?

Leroy and Loretta sit in the first row of the local multiplex to watch this year's remake of The Wolfman, when Leroy turns nonchalantly to the stranger to his right and and makes a clever quip about Loretta's irksome tendencies. The stranger pays no attention to Leroy, as he has no idea who Loretta is, but to Leroy it matters naught. If Leroy is correct, we should expect Loretta to start wearing Victorian Era garb soon.

The Big Sleep

Leroy takes part in one of his frequent naps as his only hope of escaping Loretta's constant nagging. Only the deepest slumber will save him, though. Loretta makes it a point to drag one of her neighbors over by the couch, thus providing her with an audience, however unwilling, as she complains loudly about her husband, yet again.

John 8:32

Leroy speaks the unabashed truth. He feels free for a change, in the only place besides Arthur's Bar where he can feel both welcome and comfortable, even in Loretta's annoying presence. At the same time, he also manages a clever dig at Loretta's weight-conscious ways.