These Chains That Bind Me

We have all noticed with amusement from time to time how banks and other public institutions always keep their pens tethered with little chains to prevent their pilferage, intentional or otherwise. Nonetheless, it's always a pleasure to hear Loretta, of the keenest wit and never at a loss for words, make the clever observation that's always on our minds. Leroy, in a sense having himself been tethered for decades, will not share in our enjoyment today.

On The Sapir-Whorf Hypothesis

Leroy is downstairs in his rumpus room, enjoying his extra large plasma wall TV. Naturally, Loretta seeks him out to nag him some more, ostensibly about his TV viewing habits. Leroy, completely unabashed, actually takes joy in explaining his sports viewing philosophy to a momentarily silenced Loretta.

Nectar Of The Gods

We certainly can't blame Leroy for turning every project into a liquor cabinet. The man cannot even seek solace in his own work shop without Loretta sauntering by to insult, harangue, or nag him. He knows that alcohol is the cheapest and most readily available means to deaden Loretta's nettlesome effect. Why on earth would he design anything other than a liquor cabinet?

Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night

We see the Lockhorns grocery shopping in Panel One, where Loretta recites the obligatory pun about twittering which compares the word to the derogatory "twit;" nothing is too cliched when it comes to insulting Leroy in public. Panel Two has my vote, as we see vintage D. Pullman at his sardonic best. Leroy in Center Panel gets in a rare riposte amidst the usual salvo of nagging barbs from Loretta, as he extols the benefits of the famous La-Z-Boy recliner chair. It's perfectly logical that Loretta feels compelled to hide the cookies in Panel Four since by default they are the only thing edible in the house. In Panel Five, despite the bored mien of the neighbor, Leroy may not be exaggerating by all that much, as trees probably are, in some innate manner, aware of when road menace Loretta is behind the wheel.

There But By The Grace Of God Go I

The Lockhorns are out to the movies again, this time in a really small theater crammed into a corner of the local shopping mall. Leroy usually likes to tell nobody in particular among the audience about Loretta's annoying qualities, yet he cannot tolerate as much as a whisper from anybody else. Loretta, unsurprisingly, is quick to point out his hypocrisy, much to Leroy's consternation.

With Apologies To Little Eva

It's always a pleasure to see the Lockhorns dining at home; it is here when Leroy is at his acerbically witty best as he dishes out his bon mots in response to the inedible glop Loretta dishes out to him. It's typical for Loretta, that for all her worrying about food triangles and Leroy's shape, she serves a dinner solely comprising a disgusting gelatinous mass that she calls "mashed potatoes."

Assume Euclid's Fifth Postulate

Leroy's infamous poor health has him back in the doctor's office. Naturally, Loretta tags along to nag and annoy Leroy. She interrupts Dr. H. Blog's examination by referring to a food group chart, all as a clever ruse for poking fun at Leroy's abominable physical shape, paying no attention, of course, to her own.